Trying not to overreact after the dismal, disheartening Detroit Lions performance on Monday night.
Eight and a half months.
That’s how long we as Detroit Lions fans had to wait to see our team take the field for a game that actually counted. That is a serious slog and hands-down the longest off-season among the four professional sports (not counting playoffs). The MLB off-season only lasts six months. Ditto for the NBA and NHL off-seasons. You can really FEEL that extra two and a half months. The remarkable thing is, despite this, football never really seems to go away. In fact, due to the irrepressible and omnipresent media coverage, we’re treated to a pu pu platter of non-events from the Super Bowl on through August to whet our appetites for the feast that is the NFL regular season.
Will they franchise Ansah or sign him long term? Who they gonna get in Free Agency? Did you check out the combine? (insert random prospect here) looked really good out there running in a straight line and lifting weights. I’m sure he’d put us over the hump! Who they gonna draft on Thursday night? O-line? D-Line? And Friday night? And all day Saturday? Did you see Ragnow at rookie camp? That run game will be improved for sure! And how ’bout that Brandon Powell? He looks like a Tate-replacement out there! He’s killing it in pre-season. The Patriots waived Marquis Flowers. Do you think we’ll si-
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
It’s one amuse-bouche after the last, each about as bland and tasteless as a tofu-topped rice cake.
So, finally after what seemed like an eternity, Monday night arrived and with it, a nationally televised, prime time tilt with the New York Football Jets. I was firmly embedded onto my couch, with my excitement, apprehension and elation all wrapped up in a nice, tidy package (though not as nice as the loaded chicken shawarma in my hand).
And when Quandre Diggs picked off rookie QB Sam Darnold’s ill-advised, cross-field heave and returned it to the house on the VERY FIRST PLAY I was teetering on the edge of frenzy. Forget that daunting early schedule! Nevermind the fact that the pre-season was an absolute disaster! I was ready to purchase my Super Bowl tickets right then and there.
But it was all downhill from there, and when I say downhill I mean a Thelma and Louise style cliff-drop.
Forward Down the Field! credit: giphy
This was the Lions offense in the first half: punt, interception, interception, missed FG, punt, and FG (Yay!). And that’s not all! The reconfigured run game Bob Quinn had spent so much effort and so many resources on looked a lot like the old run game (horrific). The defense looked much as it did during the pre-season; confused, a step behind and lacking playmakers. Ansah leaving with a shoulder injury (shocker!) only compounded matters. 50/50 balls that could have shifted the course of the game- a heave into the end-zone that trickled through Marvin Jones fingers, the 41 yard TD toss to Robby Anderson that Tavon Wilson just couldn’t quite haul in- went the Jets way.
Needless to say I was disappointed (Not in my shawarma. That was delicious) and there were countless adjectives I threw at my television in frustration.
How was that first half, jackie? Credit: giphy
But as the last seconds ticked off in the first half, I felt the Lions were fortunate to only be down 17-10. And the strange thing is…for Lions fans, there’s a twisted comfort in being behind. We’ve all seen that movie before. Trailing deep into the second half, Gunslinger Stafford shows up to the party, he nails an improbable throw or two and (as long as there’s no ten second run-off) we walk off the field victorious.
Sure enough, the first drive of the second half consisted of four laser beams- three to Tate and one to a very impressive Kenny Golladay- and a TD to tie the game at 17 all. It seemed that our new coaching genius, Matt Patricia, made some major adjustments at halftime and we would now take control against a “lesser” opponent featuring a QB who couldn’t legally buy a beer three months ago.
Alas, it was not to be. The Jets scored 31 unanswered points in a myriad of ways (methodical drive ending in TD pass to Enunwa, pick six, punt return TD, FG, 62 yard TD run for Crowell). It was as disheartening, disgusting, discombobulated and (insert your own dis-word here) of a performance as I have seen in a long while.
For all intents and purposes, the game was over with that pick six Stafford threw, but like an idiot (masochist) I watched nearly to the end. The final score was 48-17, but it might as well have been 480-17, or at least that is how it felt.
The season was over, I concluded. Gotta fire the coach, I surmised. And the next day, after reading in the papers about how Patricia was in over his head, and how he had already lost the team, I realized I was not alone. But now, a few days later, and with the benefit of perspective, I find my mind drifting back to September of 2014 and the five letters that Aaron Rodgers, insurance spokesman and Packers QB, once imparted to his horde of panicking cheeseheads after a sobering loss (to our Lions) left his team 1-2.
“R-E-L-A-X.”
And you know what? He was right. They went on to win nine of their next ten games and eleven of the final thirteen. He knew that three games is WAY too early to draw a definitive conclusion about how a team will perform over the length of the season, much less ONE game as it pertains to this years Lions.
Yes, it was horrible. Yes it was ugly. But it was just one game. And I know that it was the home opener…on prime time…and our franchise QB barely completed half of his passes (not counting the ones to the other team)…and a rookie made us look foolish. I get all that.
I’m sure you’d have to go back into the annals of football, back to when they used to wear leather helmets and line up in the ‘T’, to find a team that overcame such an ignominious start to still have a successful season.
Or would you?
Just last year, a team lost their season opener 42-27 on Thursday Night Football at home- with their QB going 16-36 and no TDs- to a “lesser” opponent whose rookie running back slashed them for 246 yards from scrimmage and three TDs. That team? The future AFC Champion New England Patriots. A team whose defensive coordinator was none other than Matt Patricia.
“R-E-L-A-X.”
I know, those teams featured Hall of Fame QBs and had a pedigree for winning. The point is, this is the NFL. It’s a cliche, but “Any Given Sunday” ain’t just a lesser Oliver Stone film elevated by a scenery-chewing performance from Al Pacino. Freaky things happen in this parity driven league. Sometimes your franchise QB throws four picks at home and you lose. Sometimes you’re the Cleveland Browns and you DON’T lose to the Pittsburgh Steelers (they tied).
The Lions have a bye after a week five showdown at home vs. Rodgers and the gang and I’m going to hang in at least until then. If they finish that game at 0-5…well, as we Lions fans are prone to say, “there’s always next year.” At that point the 2019 season will only be…
(counting)
Eleven months away. Uggh.