MotherLoad: Metallica’s Eyeliner Days Re-ReVisited

What would a single album combining the best of Metallica’s divisive Load and ReLoad sound like? Would it be held in higher regard? Let’s discuss…

By 1991, Metallica had established themselves as one of the premier heavy metal bands in the world. Already selling millions of copies of their unique brand of thrash (speed and aggression mixed with classical elements lifted from the New Wave of British Heavy Metal bands that inspired them) and filling stadiums worldwide, they entered the studio looking for a new challenge. Moving on from producer Fleming Rasmussen, they hired Bob Rock (who’d worked with Motley Crüe and Bon Jovi, among others) to helm the knobs and sliders for what was to be their self-titled fifth album. Also known as The Black Album (because it’s, you know, black), it dropped in August of that year and instantly took the hard rock and heavy metal world by storm. Buoyed by massive hits like “Enter Sandman” (the one Metallica song even your grandmother knows), “Sad But True”, “The Unforgiven” and a ballad (gasp!) in “Nothing Else Matters”, it went on to sell over sixteen million copies in the U.S. and another five or so overseas.

Its influence can be heard in the music of their peers (Megadeth’s “Trust”) and in the generation of axe-wielders it helped spawn (Avenged Sevenfold’s 2014 track “This Means War”, a direct ~~plagiarism of~~ homage to “Sad But True”). And featuring shortened song lengths (shortened, not short. Four of the twelve songs eclipse six minutes) and dare-I-say poppier arrangements, it resonated with a whole new fan-base that did not have the patience (or interest) to sit through eight or nine minute epics railing on the horrors of war, pestilence and insanity.

But that isn’t to say it was a complete success. While it stands today as a bona fide heavy metal classic (God, I feel old calling it that), there is still a small but vocal subset of Metallica supporters who feel their discography ended with 1988’s …And Justice For All (and let’s not forget the even smaller subset that thinks anything released after bassist Cliff Burton’s tragic death in 1986 is not canon. Actually, no. We can forget them. Anybody who dismisses an album that contains arguably the greatest Metallica song (“One”) is a moron. A stupid, stupid moron). They rejected (and continue to reject) how the record broke free from the band’s tried-and-true formula from the prior three LPs (open with a clean-introed thrasher, segue into lengthy title track, fourth song starts slow then speeds to a frenetic pace, a few more thrashers and an instrumental towards the end and …VOILA! Another metal masterpiece).

Despite their displeasure, they still bought the album. They still came out to the shows in droves (the band toured for three years showcasing the material. THREE YEARS ON ONE ALBUM!). They still draped themselves in black t-shirts adorned with garish artwork by unfortunately named artist Pushead and wandered around Southland Mall sipping Orange Julius smoothies and arguing which non-single is best (it’s “My Friend Of Misery”…just kidding. No one likes that song. It’s the closest thing to filler the record has).

Why did they do this you ask? Because deep down they hoped the record was a blip; something they all would collectively dismiss when Master Of Puppets Part II came out (they’re still waiting). But when Metallica emerged from the studio with Load in 1996, it was most assuredly NOT Master Of Puppets Part II. It wasn’t even a spiritual sequel to The Black Album.

It was something very, very different.

Gone was the thrash (The Black Album had featured very little thrash either, “The Struggle Within” being the only song vaguely resembling it) and in its stead were a bunch of looser, groovier blues-based riffs and tones. Gone were the lyrics focusing on the ills of society with singer and principle lyricist James Hetfield instead looking inward for inspiration. And it wasn’t just the music that had endured a seismic shift. The album art featured a neutered version of their iconic, sharp edged logo and instead of an illustration perfectly summing up the album’s ethos…we got a photo of semen (artsy semen, but semen nonetheless in a photo from controversial photographer Andres Serrano who’d mixed cow’s blood with a couple shots of his own special sauce. Talented guy).

White and red fluid in the shape of fire with the text "Load" (bottom right) — A little on the nose for an album called Load if you ask me. Source: wikipedia.

Most shockingly (and that’s saying a lot for an album with THAT cover), and for many fans most unforgivably, gone were the boys long, flowing locks. Their look now consisted of shorter styles plucked right from some fancy-pants Manhattan salon and *shudder…makeup.

And they went ALL out showcasing it. The liner notes featured pic after pic of the band in various outfits (goth-y stuff, white tanks and suspenders, fur…all decidedly not very metal) photographed by Anton Corbijn who was responsible for the black and white shots in U2’s semenal work The Joshua Tree.

Did I say semenal? I meant sem-i-nal. Gotta get that album cover out of my mind.

Perhaps all of this risk-taking was in effort to blend in with a scene that had shifted focus toward all things Seattle (Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains) during their never-ending tour cycle or perhaps it was due to feeling a bit emboldened with all the success The Black Album had garnered. Either way, the fourteen-track release was met with a ton of controversy (as you’d expect) that, in my opinion, muddled the public’s ability to objectively judge the music. Its “sequel” Reload (the thirteen-track follow-up that was written concurrently but recorded and dropped one year later) was met with equal disdain.

Metallica - Reload cover.jpg — “Which other bodily fluid can I mix with cow’s blood…? How ’bout urine!” Andres Serrano, probably. Source: wikipedia.

But here, in 2018, after a couple albums of fan-service in 2008’s Death Magnetic and 2016’s Hardwired…To Self Destruct that contain some certified rippers (“All Nightmare Long”, “Spit Out The Bone”, and “Hardwired” come to mind) fans mostly have forgiven Metallica for their mid-90’s indiscretions (we’re just gonna pretend the sonic abomination that is St. Anger never happened).

My stance, however, is that they have nothing to be sorry for. In fact, I’m here to argue that within Load and Reload‘s twenty-seven tracks lies the most misunderstood and undervalued album of Metallica’s thirty-seven year history.

That’s not to say that the records are perfect, mind you. Far from it. There are definite tiers to the quality of these songs and since the band has always had an affinity for classic Spaghetti Westerns (and particularly Ennio Morricone’s scores. They’ve used his “Ecstasy of Gold” as a concert opener since ’83) why don’t we call these tiers the Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

You ready to get loaded? Alright…

COME DANCE-AH!

The Ugly

“Ronnie” (Load, Track 13. 5:17)

Arguably the worst song in Metallica’s catalog (that ignominious title belongs to the garage-metal swing of St. Anger‘s “Invisible Kid”), this squeaky-riffed filler doesn’t hold a candle to the one and only 90s-era school shooting song worth listening to; Pearl Jam’s “Jeremy.”

“Bad Seed” (Reload, Track 8. 4:05)

Note to self: when writing a forgettable, mid-tempo rocker featuring lame carnival barking, drumming that features extremely basic rhythm keeping and little else, and a staccato-y one note guitar riff, DON’T end the song with a repeated coughing sound. It’ll only remind people that they were listening to “Bad Seed” and not Black Sabbath’s classic “Sweet Leaf.”

“Slither” (Reload, Track 6. 5:13)

This song may have been better off as an instrumental. Not only does James start off with an “ooohh” like he’s in a studio audience watching his favorite sitcom stars finally kiss for the first time but the lyrics are so aimless and nonsensical that they drag down the otherwise serviceable music backing them. Here’s a particularly befuddling example;

“Ohh, watch the puppets dancing
Yeah, see the clowns fall down
Hey, tie your tap shoes tightly
Yeah, and wear them into town”

Umm…ok?

The Bad (Boring)

“Carpe Diem Baby” (Reload, track 7. 6:12)

I feel like there is a comma missing in the title for this meandering, overlong rocker. For those who don’t speak Latin (everyone) Carpe Diem means ‘Seize the Day’. Baby is English for ‘Baby.’ Combined, the title is ‘Seize the Day Baby’. Who is this Day Baby? Is it the inspiration for Charlie Day’s Dayman from the resplendent It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia episode “The Nightman Cometh”? Probably not. I’m sure they meant “Carpe Diem, Baby” though it’d be more fun the other way around.

“Poor Twisted Me” (Load, Track 9. 4:00)

It’s hard for a four minute song to seem boring, but this track pulls it off. Lars seems like he’s asleep behind the kit, the lyrics are paint-by-numbers “look at how damaged I am” and they’re sung through some distracting vocal effect that adds nothing. It all adds up to why this song has only been played live four times (and not once in the last twenty years).

“Where the Wild Things Are” (Reload, Track 9. 6:54)

“So wake up sleepy one,” James croons at the beginning of this forgettable song that mercifully ends a four-track dry-spell towards the back half of Reload. The thing is, outside of some decent wah-pedal work by Kirk on the solo about four minutes in, there’s nothing here to cause the listener to rise from their slumber.

“The House Jack Built” (Load, Track 3. 6:39)

Ever heard of a talk box? No, it’s not some underground Bangkok side show where a lady will go up onstage and…uhh, never mind. It’s that thingy (technical term) that guitarists use to warp the guitar’s output through a tube in their mouth to make it sound like the guitar is talking.

Here’s a list of the greatest songs to feature a talk box:

Peter Frampton, “Do You Feel Like We Do”
Joe Walsh, “Rocky Mountain Way”
Aerosmith, “Sweet Emotion”
Bon Jovi, “Livin’ On A Prayer”

and at 138. Metallica, “The House Jack Built.”

The Bad (Generic)

“Devil’s Dance” (Reload, Track 3. 5:19)

I hate to call these next few songs ‘bad’ (I have to though, otherwise the whole “Good, Bad and the Ugly” thing doesn’t work). They really are just disappointing. Their construction and execution are just so formulaic that they seem bad in comparison to not only Metallica’s storied back catalog but also other, more inspired tracks on the same records. With “Devil’s Dance” my disappointment stems from how it was being held up prior to the release of Reload as a particular example of how the record would be heavier than its predecessor (in response to the poor reception that Load got). Upon first spin, what struck me was not that it was heavier, per se, but that it was LOWER (as in tuning. The song is in ‘D’ tuning). Lower ≠ heavier.

“2 X 4” (Load, Track 2. 5:28)

This one is disappointing mainly due to that little drum fill that Lars utilizes to kick-start the song. I’m not a Lars-hater. He may not be the most technically gifted skinsman around but I’ve always felt he’s done an admirable job holding down the beat. That fill, though…it just keeps popping up throughout both Load and Reload like it’s something special and it’s just…not. They rest of the band even pauses at about 4:25 just so he can RAT-TA-TA-TAT-TA-TAT away for a spell. Otherwise, an okay song. This live version from Donington Park back in August of ’95 ain’t half bad.

“Attitude” (Reload, Track 12. 5:16)

Not much to say about this one. It’s head-bobbing, lip-pursing biker-metal in it’s most general form. The lyrics, I believe, suggest the merits of giving in to temptation even in the face of physical harm to your person…or something like that.

“Cure” (Load, Track 8. 4:54)

This song is stronger lyrically than it is musically. Here, James takes aim at how the ‘cures’ we seek for what ails us tend to fail us. First it’s alcohol, with which James has a long and brutal history (at least that’s my interpretation. I like to think that it’s a certain light beer he’s alluding with the word ‘bullet’ and not, like, an actual bullet). But hidden deeper there’s probably also a slight the Church of Christian Science, a religious sect that believes sickness is an illusion that can be ‘cured’ with faith alone. This idea could not have sat well with sixteen year old Hetfield as he watched his mother, a devout follower of the Church, succumb to cancer.

(At this point I know what you’re thinking. This was supposed to be a fun little article proving why Metallica’s reviled mid-90s period should be reevaluated but instead we get a list of mediocre to bad songs and now some cancer and alcoholism thrown in for good measure. But we’re through the muck now. On with the good!)

The Good (But Not Good Enough)

“Low Man’s Lyric” (Reload, Track 11. 7:36)

The next five songs could easily have made the final single album cut. This one stands out to me due to how restrained it is. You’d think that once Metallica decided to feature a hurdy-gurdy on one of their songs they’d feel obligated to balance out that brave choice by reverting to some thrashing later on. Thankfully, they don’t. It’s a devastating song with a dirge-like beauty that uses somber tones and poetic lyrics to paint an image of a street-person reaching the end of the line. The theme alone makes this song plenty heavy even without raging guitars and it’s better for the band recognizing that.

“Wasting My Hate” (Load, Track 10. 3:57)

This song, omitted from the band’s live set since the Poor Touring Me jaunts in 96/97 is ready-made for the stage. It’s short, it’s got a great groove, and it’s relentless, never letting up long enough for the audience to catch their breath (in a good way). The lyrics apparently originate from a story Waylon Jennings told James about how he’d once got so mad at someone who’d been staring at him from inside their car that he confronted him…only to find the man had been asleep the whole time. Fantastic.

“Prince Charming” (Reload, Track 10. 6:05)

For those who say the Load/Reload records aren’t heavy, I hereby submit this track. Like “Wasting My Hate” it sinks it’s teeth in early and doesn’t let go. Kirk’s wah-work at about three minutes in is superb and it leads into a head-bobbing, foot stomping bridge (“LOOK UP TO ME!” James demands) ready for the arena which is all the more perplexing as to why they’ve never played this song live. What the hell, guys?

“Thorn Within” (Load, Track 12. 5:51)

Another great riff wasted by never making it to a live Metallica performance (do we really need to hear “Sanitarium” again?) and it is baffling. As I write this I’m also playing a little air guitar, palm-muting away at this gem. It differs from the previous song, in that it offers the listener a brief respite from the pummeling here and there when Lars putzes on the tom-toms while the guitars lilt in the background (one of the few ‘alternative’ sounds on the record, IMO). But then James’s voice rises to a crescendo just as that ear-worm of a riff begins it’s descent. Good tune.

“The Unforgiven II” (Reload, Track 4. 6:36)

The list of great movie sequels is a long one (The Empire Strikes Back, The Godfather II, Aliens, Speed 2: Cruise Control…). The list of great song sequels is much shorter (it basically begins and ends with Lesley Gore’s 1-2 punch of “It’s My Party” and “Judy’s Turn To Cry”). And while this track doesn’t quite reach the rarefied air of “The Unforgiven”, it still has some redeeming qualities. The juxtaposition of the usual Metallica crunch with that Telecaster-country tinge is an interesting one, James’s vocal stylings are on point (“No there’s no sun shiniiiiiing!!”, “Yeah, she’ll be there when I’m gah-oo-ahn!”), and Kirk delivers one the more memorable solos on either record. Not essential Metallica, but no embarrassment to its parent song either.

The Good (The Thing That Should Have Been)

1. “Fuel” (Reload, Track 1. 4:29)

To be respectful, I had to start off with either “Fuel” or “Ain’t My Bitch” considering those are the two songs the band began the original albums with (especially after I eviscerated a good handful of their songs). Of the two, the high-energy, pulse-pounding “Fuel” is the easy winner. It’s remained a concert staple to this day, it features some great James enunciation (“Give me fye-urr!”) and you can’t help but get amped up when it culminates in that final “GIVE ME FUEL, GIVE ME FIRE, GIVE ME THAT WHICH I DESIRE…OOHH!” Perfect opening track.

2. “Ain’t My Bitch” (Load, Track 1. 5:04)

This hard-driving rocker was somewhat of a rude awakening for listeners when they first pressed play on their Walkman back in ’96 (or Discman if they were super rich). It was just so different, both musically but especially lyrically, from what the band had presented before (and a harbinger of what was to come). In hindsight, it was like a super-confident Hetfield was targeting the naysayers the band anticipated they’d gain. “Outta my way” he yelps to start things off before demanding those he deems to be “so useless” to kiss their “ass goodbye.” Fun fact: “Ain’t My Bitch” was the original working title to Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean” (actually, no. That is a lie).

3. “The Memory Remains” (Reload, Track 2. 4:39)

It’s funny how things you absolutely despised when you were young and inexperienced (dumb) often become some of your favorites as an adult (I’m looking at you, onions). This song is a prime example. It always RAWKED. There is no denying that. But when I first heard that voice come in at about the two-minute mark I thought Who the hell is that old, drunk guy and why is he on my Metallica record? Now as an adult, I can appreciate the contrast of this powerful, punchy riffage and that meek, vulnerable warble. And while Marianne Faithfull is definitely no guy (in fact, she was once Mick Jagger’s longtime sweetheart), she actually was drunk when she recorded her parts (I knew it!)

4. “Until It Sleeps” (Load, Track 4. 4:29)

Maybe this song’s too ‘alternative’ for most metalheads. Maybe they don’t like the video because it’s too surreal (or perhaps because of Lars’s pierced nips). But I will fight for this song’s rightful place in the upper echelon of Metallica’s discography. Why? Because this is where the band really stretches out. It features some of James’s most naked, emotional lyrics to date:

“So tear me open and pour me out
There’s things inside that scream and shout
And the pain still hates me
So hold me until it sleeps”

And those weird creatures in the video are references to a couple nearly five-hundred year old paintings by one of my personal faves, Hieronymus Bosch (The Haywain Triptych, The Garden of Earthly Delights). What other band, metal or otherwise, was doing that then? Or even now? Exactly.

5. “King Nothing” (Load, Track 5. 5:28)

I’ll never forget the time our neighbor walked into our basement right when I was blasting this song on the family turntable (yes, i bought Load on vinyl and no, it wasn’t so that I could have a 12.5″X12.5″ image of that cover). He was panicky, thinking that Kirk’s high pitched guitar wail at the beginning was the sound of an oncoming swarm of bees. It was quite amusing. The song? It’s basically “Enter Sandman Part II.” They both start off with a winding lead in with some guitar and hi-hat action. Lars then goes snare-bass-snare-bass and the riff kicks in. Some childlike lyrical content is mixed in (“I wish I may, I wish I might.” “Now I lay me down to sleep”) at the bridge before the riff again takes over about four minutes in. Hell, James even says “off to never-never land” at the fade-out.

6. “Fixxxer” (Reload, Track 13. 8:14)

There’s something dark and menacing about that echoey guitar screech (which is appropriate for a song using Voodooism as a metaphor for the pain inflicted upon a child by an absentee father). Again, James opens up his soul to us to reveal a lifetime of heartache (read the lyrics and picture him seated upon a wooden stool on some coffeehouse stage, legs crossed and clad in a black turtleneck. Without the crushing music, the anger drifts away leaving only the anguish of his words). Originally the final song on Reload, it does end leaving the listener with hope that he’s found a sliver of light at the end of a very dark tunnel as he repeatedly and defiantly shouts “No more pins in meeee!!” (What I’d pay to hear this one live…)

7. “Hero Of The Day” (Load, Track 6. 4:21)

This song starts off with a pained and weathered protagonist bemoaning “Mama they try and break me” from some distant place. It most likely is an empathetic anthem to PTSD-stricken veterans (a sort of short-haired “Disposable Heroes,” if you will) but I can’t help but hear a little more introspection in James’s words here. Is he likening the ‘what have you done for me lately’ nature of musical fandom and how artists are often cast aside for trying something new? Is he worried that constantly defending his art may make him callous and combative his fans (“…the fist I’ve made for years can’t hold or feel”)? Or is it about the daily special at some New York City sub shop? Yeah, probably not that last one.

8. “Bleeding Me” (Load, Track 7. 8:18)

Another prime example of the emotional catharsis that Hetfield experienced during the making of these records. In this brooding eight-minute epic, he digs and pushes to lyrically bleed out of all the darkness and evil that he felt inside. In an interview with Playboy in 2001 he explained the need to do so after seeing how everyone around him “…seems so happy all the time. I want to get happy. I’d plan my life around a hangover: The Misfits are playing in town Friday night, so Saturday is hangover day.” Now, free from all of that despair, his Saturdays have changed dramatically. He can often be found at Home Depot, maybe buying some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don’t know.

9. “Mama Said” (Load, Track 11. 5:19)

This is Metallica’s country song (yes, the same band that fills stadiums with people pumping their fists and screaming “Master! Master!” wrote a song that wouldn’t be out of place on a Dwight Yoakam record. Deal with it). There is definitely a Lynyrd Skynyrd influence here too as the band covers some of the same ground as the Southern Rock legends’s “Simple Man” (they would later feature an All-Star jam of “Tuesday’s Gone” on Garage, Inc). In Skynyrd’s version, the advice coming from ‘Mama’ seemed like genuine, homespun platitudes meant to give the target of her advice a pathway to happiness and satisfaction. You can picture the young man looking up at his mother’s face beaming with respect and adoration, receptive to every single word. In Metallica’s version, though some of the same advice is given (“The brightest flame burns quickest” vs. Skynyrd’s “Oh, take your time, don’t live too fast”), it comes across more as a command that the trouble-making youngster cannot wait to defy. Now as an adult, he stares upon her gravestone regretting his obstinance and unable to make amends. If only he’d have hung out with the kid in the Skynyrd song he might have learned a thing or two about respecting his elders.

10. “Better Than You” (Reload, Track 5. 5:22)

Here’s a list of Metallica songs that have won Grammys over the years; “One”, “Stone Cold Crazy”, the entire Black Album, “Better Than You“, “Whiskey In The Jar”, “The Call of Ktulu (live)”, “St. Anger” and “My Apocalypse.” Surprising, eh? “Better Than You” isn’t even the best song on Reload much less the best metal performance that year (of the other nominees, I’d have to go with Rammstein’s “Du Hast” or maybe Rage’s “No Shelter.” Toss-up). It’s a cool tune, though, featuring a couple sweet Hammett solos (Look Ma! No wah!). It IS, hands down, better than “St. Anger,” the song a very drunk Neanderthal-type nearly attacked me for saying had ‘thrashy elements’ at a Slayer concert. Slayer concerts are fun…

11. “The Outlaw Torn” (Load, Track 14. 9:49 (album), 10:48 (unencumbered))

Metallica ended Load with this monster of a song, so I decided I will, too. Nearly ten minutes long (or eleven in the ‘Unencumbered By Manufacturing Restrictions’ version (above). Basically it was too long to fit on a CD) and not one second feels superfluous. It’s kind of a slow burner, though there are ebbs and flows (some really nice James moments like when he soars on the chorus “I’m Outlaw Tooooorrrrnnnn”), until it really reaches it’s peak at 4:35 where the band goes full on Who with the “Behind Blue Eyes”-aping bridge (their “and if I close my mind in fear, please pry it open” is a direct descendant of Townsend and Co.’s “when my fist clenches, crack it open”). Then comes a minute plus of some great low-end work by Jason Newsted (I knew I’d mention him eventually) and some eerie reverberation from Hammett which culminates in an eruption of guitar shreds and squeals backed by Lars’s propulsive hammering. After another trip down Who-lane (“and if my face becomes sincere…BE-WARE-E-AIR-E-AHH!!”) we get a three-minute “War Pigs/Luke’s Wall” kind of sendoff which either fades out or culminates in a crash of power chords, depending on the version you hear. Triumphant and exhausting in equal measure, it is the centerpiece of the album (both this fictional edition and the original Load) and, in and of itself, redeeming of any missteps the band may have made on these records otherwise.

So, there…one hour and six minutes of bluesy, brave, experimental hard rock/heavy metal that absolutely deserves a place in the canon of great Metallica recordings. Go make a Spotify playlist (or whatever the kids are doing these days) and listen for yourself.

Appendix:

I couldn’t resist also making a revised 2-disc version of these recordings that leaves room for some of those borderline tracks I alluded to…I know, I’m obsessed.